The Moment Everything Changed

I’d like to share a bit of my personal experience — not just to tell you where I’ve been, but to help you reflect on where you are.

And where you might go from here.

Because if you’re at a point in life where something feels off — where you know there’s more available to you, but you’re unsure how to access it — I want to tell you:

Transformation is possible.

Through my story, you might see similarities.

You might also notice a new way forward.

A way to shift into a life you’re excited to wake up to.

One where your body feels good, your mind is calm, and your days have clarity and purpose.

I’m not claiming I have it all figured out — but I can confidently say this:

I’m happy with where I am. Things are working. I feel good — mentally, emotionally, physically.

As I write this, here’s what my day-to-day life looks like:

• Living at a beachfront hotel in the Dominican Republic

• Teaching a Flow60 class each morning — a mix of qi-gong, strength training, stretching, breathwork, and meditation

• Working with some clients online and building my coaching/consulting business

• Legally avoiding U.S. taxes using the Foreign Earned Income Exclusion (FEIE)

• Helping with hotel operations two days a week (in exchange for rent and food)

• Eating farm-to-table, organic food

• Lifting weights 3x/week at the gym on the property

• Walking the beach or swimming in the ocean as the sun sets

• Sharing meals with interesting travelers and entrepreneurs

• Planning and organizing retreats that help people reduce stress, increase energy, and gain clarity

• Working with and learning from world-class mentors

But beyond the structure of my day/life — what matters most is how I feel.

I wake up genuinely excited to begin my work.

Grateful for the life I’ve created.

There’s a deep sense of calm that carries through the day — knowing things are unfolding as they should.

One of the hotel guests once said, “You’re living day-to-day what most people try to escape to.” And I feel that.

There’s fulfillment in what I do.

In the clients I help.

In seeing others increase their energy, release stress, enhance their eating habits, feel better mentally/emotionally, and find clarity in their own lives.

But it wasn’t always like this…

Not even close.

Previously, I was still trying to optimize my life — but in all the wrong ways.

Pushing limits without understanding the cost.

Hacking energy with substances instead of structure.

Searching for clarity through chaos.

Chasing fulfillment through doing more, being more — hoping that enough achievement, material success, or external validation would finally make me feel whole.

Let’s rewind the clock — back to the final year of college, when the trajectory of my life started to shift…

[College – The High-Speed Life]

For most, senior year of college is a launching pad into the “real world.”

For me, it became the year everything cracked open.

I was studying mechanical engineering at Temple University in Philadelphia.

Team lead on our senior design project, building an airplane with 7 other students to compete in an international flight competition.

I was playing lacrosse for the University.

Lifting weights 4x/week.

Valet parking luxury cars at a hotel in Center City Philly to make cash on weekends.

And partying like it was a full-time job.

I lived by the motto: work hard, play harder.

To paint the picture… I’d front-load my week to earn the right to blow off steam toward the end:

Monday

• Classes all day

• Try to complete all homework and assignments 2–3 days early

• Heavy lift session

Tuesday

• More classes and studying

• More weights

• Evening lacrosse practice

Wednesday

• More classes and studying

• Then… discounted drinks night at the bar

Thursday

• Wake up slightly hungover

• Down some coffee, show up to class (quizzes usually on Thursdays)

• Meet with my senior design team

• Lacrosse practice

• Straight from practice to Thirsty Thursday frat parties

Friday

• Skip class if I was too hungover

• Wrap up any last assignments

• Gym again

• PregameFrat house

• Then hit the city

Saturday

• Hair of the dog (vodka + OJ)

• Day party on a rooftop or at a frat

• After-party at our apartment

• Quick nap

• Then back out for the night

Sunday

• Wake up at 6am for my valet job in Center City

• Work till 1pm

• Crash

• Wake up and crank through lab reports

Rinse and repeat.

Somehow I was keeping it all together.

But under the surface, cracks were forming.

To keep my edge (or just stay upright), I turned to substances:

• Adderall to help me study

• Xanax to help me sleep, decrease stress or anxiety

• Vape pens on me 24/7 for that instant head buzz

• Red Bull or cocaine for high-energy nights out

Unfortunately, the substances started to seep into more than just my partying lifestyle.

It wasn’t just about blowing off steam anymore — they started affecting other areas of my life in ways I wasn’t proud of.

I remember one night I was up so late doing coke that I barely slept. We had a four-hour bus ride the next morning for a lacrosse game, so I figured I could pop a Xanax on the bus, knock out, and wake up just before the game.

But things didn’t go as planned.

The Xanax didn’t wear off…

I felt slow. Heavy. Foggy.

A teammate noticed and gave me a caffeine pill to help wake me up.I remember warming up on the field — body buzzing, mind cloudy — thinking,

“What the hell am I doing?”

Another time, I was meeting my mom and sister for lunch in the city to celebrate my sister's new job offer.

A wholesome moment. Something I should’ve been fully present for.

But I had just come from a daylong party. Still riding the tail-end of the high.

We sat down at the restaurant, menus open — and I slipped away to the bathroom…

To do a key bump of coke.

I’m not proud of that moment. Not even close.

But it’s part of my story.

I was burning the candle at both ends.

Until one day… my body said no more.

[The Crash – Anxiety Hits Hard]

I was studying for a final exam when it hit.

My breathing shortened.

The walls felt like they were closing in.

The friend I was studying with looked at me and asked,

“Are you okay?”

I left everything behind in the room and walked home.

Laid down. Tried to breathe.

But my heart was racing, like it had a mind of its own.I paced around my apartment — anxious, ungrounded, spiraling.

Eventually it slowed down. But I knew something wasn’t right.

I visited a doctor on campus.

After hearing about my schedule, she told me bluntly:

“You’re pushing your body way too hard. The alcohol, nicotine, stress — it’s too much. If you keep this up, you’re headed for major problems.”

She told me I needed to cut back. Way back.

I didn’t even tell her about the Xanax or the cocaine...

But I heard her.

Even if I didn’t fully agree yet.

“This is the time of my life,” I thought. “Why would I slow down now?”

[The First Meditation Assignment]

Around the same time, I had to take a gen-ed writing class.

Early in the semester, the professor introduced a unique assignment:

We were going to meditate once per week — and journal our experience.

Mindfulness meditation, he said. Just 5 minutes to start.

I was skeptical. But after what I’d just gone through… I was open.

He led us through a short in-class meditation.

And within seconds… I could feel it:

My mind was not okay.

Thoughts were racing a mile a minute. My body was buzzing. That 5 minutes felt like forever.

We were instructed to keep meditating and journaling each week, working our way up to 10 minutes.

So I tried meditating at home…

That’s when something strange happened.

During one session, I noticed a deep vibration in my body. A kind of thumping.

I thought it was the laundry machine.

But when I checked… nothing.

It was inside me.

That’s when I knew something was off.

Really off.

As I began those early days of meditation… I’ll be honest — it was hard.
Sitting still with my thoughts felt like staring straight into the storm.

And I now realize that’s true for most people — especially when we live such fast-paced lives, constantly distracted, constantly doing.

Meditation doesn’t just slow you down. It reveals what’s been hiding underneath.

I started coming face to face with my insecurities. My anxiety.
The ways I’d been pushing my body and mind to the edge.
The substances I leaned on just to get through the day or the night.

I couldn’t even embrace a normal social situation without at least a few drinks in me to quiet my nerves.

Looking back, I feel for that version of me — doing the best he could to cope, to keep up, to manage all the pressure without the tools to process it.

But sitting still... it began to show me what needed to change.

[The Swami]

Not long after, I was walking across campus and saw a woman standing on a corner holding a book — trying to talk to students.

Headphones in. Didn’t want to engage. But she made eye contact.

“Have you ever tried meditation or yoga?” she asked.

I told her I’d just started meditating recently.

We chatted briefly. Then she invited me to a free seminar later that week. A Swami would be speaking. Free vegetarian meal included.

I was intrigued. But a bit nervous too.

Would people judge me for going? What if someone I knew saw me there?

I asked a friend to come with me. He said he would if he had time.

He didn’t.

I almost bailed. But something told me to go.

And I’m so glad I did.

[Meeting the Swami – A Mirror of What Was Possible]

The classroom was filled with people I didn’t normally hang out with.

Then he walked in — bald head, orange robes, red bindi on his forehead.

And then he spoke.

His name was Devamrita Swami.

He was born in New York City. Graduated from Yale. Worked in corporate America. Lived the fast life — drinking, partying, chasing success.

But inside… he felt empty.

So he left. Traveled to India and Nepal. Studied with spiritual masters.

Now, he travels the world teaching meditation, mindfulness, and nonmaterial development.

He had this presence… calm, grounded, joyful.

You could see it in his eyes.

You could hear it in his voice.

This guy was calm, content, and happy.

He talked about the illusion of fulfillment through achievement.

How chasing highs eventually leads to emptiness.

And how we can access peace and clarity from within.

We were served a vegetarian meal (I ate two servings).

Then came the Hare Krishna chant (if you don't know, check it out on YouTube)

I felt so uncomfortable. Face red. Praying no one I knew would walk by.

But I stayed.

At the end, there was a Q&A. I even went up and asked something (can’t remember what). But I do remember how I felt leaving that room.

Changed.

He had once been like me.

But he became someone very different.

The Growth Games – A New Way of Competing]

Later that semester, one of my old teammates — Graham Lichtner — posted online about something called The Growth Games.

It was an 8-week challenge focused on Mind, Body, and Spirit.

The winner would earn $1,500.

I was intrigued. I figured I could use the money for my post-grad Europe trip.

I signed up. Paid the entry fee. Committed.

My goals:

• Put on 15 lbs of lean muscle

• Read books, listen to podcasts

• Meditate daily

• Track everything on a blog: https://zachspillarsofgrowth.wordpress.com

I was paired with a coach — Alan Jaramillo.

He gave me a personalized workout plan and nutrition strategy based on my goals.

We tracked everything through Trainerize and MyFitnessPal.

He gave me weekly feedback, answered questions, and kept me on track.

This structure — plus someone in my corner — made a huge difference.

Even while still partying a bit, I stayed focused.

By the end of 8 weeks:

• Gained 16 lbs of muscle (173 to 189)

• Read multiple books

• Meditated 20 minutes/day using Headspace

• Documented it all on social and my blog

I didn’t win — another guy had an good weight loss transformation and was dealing with a personal tragedy (his wife miscarried during the challenge).

Me not winning didn’t matter.

The process transformed me.

[Meditation, Visualization, and Game-Winning Goals]

After the challenge ended, I kept meditating.

And something else started to shift…

My lacrosse performance exploded.

That final season was my best ever.

Many goals. Many assists.

Two game-winning goals in overtime.

One was on my birthday — against a hometown rival.

(The video is online — 2:45 mark. We celebrated hard that night.)

Another came against Navy — and we partied on the bus ride home.

What no one knew…

I’d been visualizing those moments for weeks during meditation.

I saw the plays unfold in my mind. Felt the win in my body.

And when the moment came — I wasn’t surprised.

[The Flight Leaves One Way – But Heads Somewhere Else]

A few weeks later, I boarded a one-way flight to Europe.

And everything changed.

But I’ll save that for the next email.

Final Reflection:

Most people who knew me back then wouldn’t believe the life I live now.

And those who know me today? They’d never guess where I started.

But this is the truth:

Transformation is possible.

Not overnight — but over time.

With intention. Curiosity. And practice.

Thanks for reading.

More soon.

Zach